Depressing

Author's Note: I don't blame anyone on this post.If anyone is offended by this, I extend my apologies in advance. I hope that as you read my post, you'll understand my situation as I wrote this article right from the day it was written.  Thanks and may God bless you all.   

    Friday, November 18, 2011

    It was a simple morning. The shades of light penetrated our little classroom. Drafting class started at about 10:20 AM. There, we were about to deepen ourselves, especially our minds, on orthographic drawing and a bit of isometric drawing.

    Throughout the class, our teacher on that subject challenged us to figure out the different views of an object that he'll draw.

     The class was divided into 4 groups. 3 persons in each group have to get 3 different views of an object: the front, top, and the right side view. 1 person per view. In addition, each group would be given seven minutes to complete their views, and we have to make sure the teacher would approve them.

     When I had my turn-together with the other two-on the blackboard, I have to get the actual top view of the teacher's drawing. For seven minutes, I tried my best to make the drawn object's correct view from the top. And to a surprise, I got the right drawing of the view! However, depression would come along the way after these sort of activities.

     The drafting class was about to end, when the teacher gave us one last thing to do. He'll sketch the views, we'll draw the object. The first twenty to get the right figure will benefit from it points.

   I struggled to get the right figure. I sketched, I erased, I sketched again. I tried hard to draw the object. It takes time, and your mind,of course. While I did what I could, some of my classmates passed their sketches to the teacher in black garment. At first, the teacher disapproved their works. But then, gradually, they took their own slots in the first 20.

   Envy started lingering at me. Jealousy seemed to came upon this man. Though I didn't act upon it, the feelings remain. But, I don't want to let my envy ruin either me or my classmates!

   3 slots were left to occupy. I let the teacher check what I've made. The reply was "WRONG!"

   "WRONG!"

   The teacher uttered it sternly enough, just like someone with vigor and authority.

   So, I looked again at my work. What went wrong? What?, I thought.

   It seemed there's nothing wrong about my work, when all the slots were finally taken.

   I tried to figure out what should be done, when I just learned thereafter that something's not really included in the drawing of the right side view: there's no any slanting line in there! In what I've made in the yellow pad, the triangular slope there should be removed, and the drawing would be almost correct! But also, I have to include guidelines throughout my drawing.

   A misconception made my answer wrong!

   Definitely discouraging

   Absolutely depressing!
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     "Their tears are fillin' up their glasses 

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow 

No tomorrow, no tomorrow"

--Mad World by Tears For Fears

   Around 1:00 PM.

   The classroom is to be cleaned, and we sophomores are to wait for our parents. We are to brace ourselves.

   There were no parents yet inside the classroom, where one of my classmates wrote the newest topnotchers. As the surnames and grades were scribbled on the blackboard, I got to know that the top 15 was totally new.

   My former place was taken.

   From top 2, to top 12, just like a typical downfall of a stock exchange.

   Of the 15 of us, 2 maintained their places, 9 jumped, while 4 fell-including yours truly, who had the most awful and most terrible slide of them all!

   It's been both revival and revenge(fair revenge, not bad revenge as you would think).

   Once again, Envy lingered upon me, but I tried to ignore him. Disappointment accompanied me instead; and at that moment, depression joined me.

   Dad came to get my card, and I felt he wouldn't believe it. He asked me why it went that way. I explained.

   We in the top 15 were all close in grades. The ranking I can quite accept, but the average was dispiriting.

   Most of us really wanted to go higher, so they tried hard to get a better spot at the recent second quarter. And I can't blame them for that! Every hard work deserves high marks, and life's like weather- it changes.

   However, 2nd grading has been a difficult, tough, nerve-wrecking, and energy-devastating experience for me. Efforts were made, but time was disorganized. Hard work was still applied, but it wasn't enough for either a maintained or a higher average.

   It's no easy job at all!

   It's been depressing!

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   But what could I do? It's final. That's it!

   Let me weep. Let me wail. Let me somber. But, I have to accept it. I shouldn't let this bad news discourage me. Rather, I have to go further and to do better.

   Besides, I thought that maybe it's just time for the lucky ones to get their crowns and be glad. My general average is still passing, and maybe, I was lowered,so that I could go up one again. Envy and jealousy should be ignored. Humility and discipline should always be considered.

   But before I end this long blog, I thank my classmates who gave their encouragements. Keep yourselves humble and persistent.

   Persistence.....Perseverance...That's what I do need.

   God, help me. I need your grace.